‘Tis the season to make a hundred shopping decisions related to school uniforms. In the spirit of playful clarity, I’d like to share with you some helpful reading material. We have had the same Uniform Committee for eight years, answering the same questions for eight years, and they’ve normalized some responses for our benefit…and amusement. And though the responses to the supplied questions and objections are intended to be smarmy and playful, they are nonetheless accurate. So here ya go.
Uniform Un-standard Deviations
AKA Teacher’s Uniform Cheat Sheet Addressing Common Confusion, Questions and Offenses
Skirt Length
- Length should be at the knee, not mid-thigh OR mid-calf. It is purposefully not a precise measurement as a kindness to those tall, skinny girls among us who are unable to conform to the policy length without purchasing a skirt eighteen sizes too big and wadding up the waist in a rubber band.
Pants
- Boys need to be wearing a black belt. Even if they don’t like it.
- Pants can’t be saggy or droopy. Even if you have the above-mentioned belt on.
Shoes
- No high-tops.
- Nope, for real, no high-tops.
- No boots. Think of these as high-tops that had real ambition in their rebellion.
- Dress and Event Uniform requires DRESS shoes. Everyone really does know what this means. I promise.
Tights
- Tights need to have feet. No leggings or footless tights. This is because the girls have feet and we don’t want them feeling left out.
Dress and Event Uniform Confusion
- There is literally only ONE difference between these uniform requirements:
- Dress: NAVY tights or socks
- Event: WHITE tights only
Freezing Children
- No outerwear other than uniform jackets and sweaters are allowed in the school or classrooms. (That means no hats, too.)
- Yep, not in the school at all. No, not even in the hallways. But yes, outside during recess is great.
Shirts
- Everyone except for secondary girls must have their shirt tucked in at all times.
- The tucking exception for secondary girls is to allow for modesty when it can be difficult. However, the look shouldn’t be sloppy and the shirt can’t be hanging out beneath any sweater or jacket worn on top of it.
Masculine Details
- Hair should be clean, neat and modest in style and appearance. Be wise.
- Hair needs to be off the ear and collar. Unless said boy has a very, very short neck.
- No jewelry. Except a wedding ring would be okay. But hopefully none of the boys are married.
Feminine Details
- Girls are allowed to have subtle feminine detailing on their shirts like modest ruffles or shaping. It is a glory for girl Raggants to look beautiful while still looking generally…uniform.
- Jewelry should not be distracting in any way. Necklaces should be tucked into shirts. Earrings should be a single stud or post earring per ear.
- Makeup should be natural and not over-done.
- Here’s a short Q&A to sum up many of the discussions about the girls’ uniforms:
- Q: But…how will my daughter look special enough to really stand out?
- A: 😑
Okay, it’s me again (Jonathan). While these represent our most common uniform questions, “common” shouldn’t be confused with “frequent.” It’s not as though we have a community of uniform fussers. I’m grateful for a culture where the students generally don their uniforms with pride and joy. I’m grateful for the parental contributions to that culture. I’m also grateful that our Uniform Committee has reasons for the decisions they’ve made, and I hope you find this to be as worth reading as I did.
Risus est bellum.
-U.H.